Juggling the needs of lots of employees can be a real challenge at times. Some days it can feel like your office crew is closing in on your like a pack of ravenous zombies. Other times it feels like you’re the one speaking in demonic tongues. That’s not even taking into account malevolent outside forces sending cold shivers down your spine. With October 31st barreling down on us, what better time to explore some of the most terrifying things you can hear from your team of IT professionals? These cringe-worthy forsaken phrases will no doubt cause you to look away in utter horror!
10 Terrifying Things to Hear from IT Staff
1) “Urgh, Bill didn’t leave instructions on how to unlock his computer station before he went on vacation.”
Shared computer workstations can be a great way to save a few bucks, except when you have no way to access them without the help of one particular tech person — who, consequently, thought it might be fun to lock things up like Fort Knox without leaving the key.
2) “We’ve agreed: everyone is walking out unless you get the office new computers.”
One grouchy IT pro in need of new gear is one thing, but a whole horde of them clawing at your cubicle door en-masse while braying for fresh tech upgrades? Time to look for the safest escape route…and quick!
3) “The Internet is down office-wide, and it could take all afternoon to fix. ”
The apocalypse is nigh! Without our lightning fast communications network, the world IT world will simply stop spinning. Post-it notes and actual phone calls? What is this, the dark ages?
4) “That newfangled software package you had installed office-wide is a real bug-fest.”
It turns out spending a lot of money to upgrade to the latest and greatest thing isn’t always so great, like when your new software suite turns out to be so “cutting edge” that it’s more like a Beta release than the finished product advertised.
5) “Umm…boss? We just got hacked.”
A million horrific images are likely flashing through your head the moment these words escape your employee’s lips, and all of the worst doomsday scenarios you can image could very well be true. Is it damage control time or Jim Beam time?
6) “There’s a burning smell coming from the server room.”
Ahhh, the distinct bouquet of burning plastic, ozone, and melting circuitry. There’s nothing like an unidentified dangerous odor wafting from the innards of a crucial piece of hardware to make those hairs at the back of your neck stand at attention.
7) “You know that report I’ve been working on for you all month? Yeah, my system just crashed and it’s gone. Aaaand…I forgot to back it up too.”
Common sense does not always come naturally to everyone, but not backing up the sole copy of a mega project? That’s a cardinal sin in the IT world. You can pick your jaw up off the floor now.
8) “So…our site domain expired and someone else bought it!”
Poachers exist in the tech realm, much like hungry wolves waiting for the most opportune moment to strike. When they do, it’s a safe bet they won’t be leaving much scraps left for you to salvage.
9) “Morning! Oh wait, you might not want to go in there. Maintenance says a water line ruptured upstairs…right over your desk.”
Some days it seems like the very office itself is out to get you. When the building housing your business is in full force rebellion, it’s time to start thinking about cashing in that much-needed vacation time.
10) Remember that guy you fired last week? It turns out he made off with a data file copy of our client list.
Loose cannons often end up being dealt with in tidy fashion, but some breaks are messier than others. In this case, the recourse is about as brain-addling as the critical problem you’re forced to troubleshoot.
That wraps it up for this blog post. Be sure to leave your own frightful quotes that you’ve heard from your IT Professionals in the comments below! Don’t forget to share with other managers, too, as long as they’re not prone to night terrors!