Ten “Terrifying” Things to Hear as an IT Professional

by Modis on October 28, 2013

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Be a dear and help Grandma fix the Google!When October 31st rolls around, most people’s minds turn to the usual spooky standbys, like zombies, demons, ghosts, and other supernatural fare. But for folks in the IT industry, there are things far scarier than the ones that go bump in the night. Are you ready for some real thrills and chills? Dim the lights, grab some popcorn, and dive into our list of ten terrifying utterances IT professionals dread!

In the office:

1) “Anyone have some paper towels? Rick just spilled coffee on the server!”
There’s nothing quite like an ill-placed cup of steaming hot caffeinated goodness inadvertently dumped into expensive and crucial circuitry to turn a cheerful day into a productivity destroying fright-fest.

2) “Hey Frank, come on over into my office for a sec. Shut the door. Have a seat.”
The long walk down the cubicle isle is nerve wracking business when the boss calls you in out of the blue. Could it be a raise? Or perhaps a pink slip? The anticipation is enough to induce panic.

3) “Morning! You’re just in time, we’re switching the company over to a new email client today!”
Email bottlenecks and the inevitable tech-support snafus that accompany them? Yeah, that’s the stuff of real nightmares. Nobody wants tobe the star of that horror show.

4) “We just got hacked.”
Defcon 4! Red alert! To your battle stations! Unraveling the chaotic security mess left in the wake of being hacked is the last thing you want to be dealing with on a Friday afternoon. These four simple words can have a potent spine-tingling effect.

5) “Where’s that analysis report that was due yesterday?”
Whoopsie. When important deadlines slip your mind and there’s no convenient rock to curl and hide under, you may find yourself wishing you’d spent your weekends inventing a time machine instead of coding video games.

At home:

Oh no! The cat is chewing on the computer cord!

6) “Be a dear and help Grandma fix The Google!”
Family members always seem to gravitate towards the most tech-savviest person in the household for help when they need some mundane, irksome troubleshooting task handled. Unfortunately, that someone tends to be you.

7) “Mom, Fluffy just chewed through your laptop cable!”
Cats. We love them, but they’re the absolute worst when it comes to not destroying things. When Furball Fu Fu decides cables are the latest and greatest plaything for snack-time, you’re the one who inevitably suffers.

On a date:

8) “So what is it you do again, exactly?”
Attempting to explain your tech-heavy role in the office without totally geeking out off the deep end and putting your potential love interest to sleep in the process can be an awkward challenge.

9) “Oh, I just use one password for everything.”
Oh sweet merciful heavens your potential partner did NOT just say that. Once you control your urge to faint, try to be tactful about explaining the scary evils of identify theft. On second thought, better save that for the third or fourth date.

10) “So do you work at Apple (or Microsoft, or Facebook)?”
Just because you work in IT doesn’t mean you automatically work for one of the big mega-giants. There are plenty of scrappy companies and cool startups out there, but it’s hard for folks to look beyond the instantly recognizable logos. It’s not a big deal question the first time, of course, but after a dozen dates in a row? Yeah, no.

That wraps it up for this blog post, but feel free to leave your own frightful quotes that you’ve heard during your career! Make sure you share this with other IT friends and cube mates. Maybe you’ll hear some blood-curdling screams around the office!

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